To You...

Dear you.

To the person who thought not training staff was ok, I can confirm it isn't but I am coping just about. To the guy helping me and letting me bug him to death, thank you so much.. but it also won't EVER happen because your sideburns are extraordinarily massive.. so you may stop starring at the ladies. Although I appreciate that is hard to do. They are epic.

Speaking of which, to the men who stared and to the people who sold me veg much cheaper than the woman stood next to me with the beard, thanks for not telling me my top THREE shirt buttons were undone. And on that note, thank you bra for being a push up. Love cheap strawberries.

To the couples having picnics and the people doing exercise in the park during office hours, screw you!! Or tell me how you manage to live such a laid back wonderful life.

To the bloke I caught videoing the girls playing netball today on your mobile phone, I reported you to the school. Sick freak.

To the person I have the unfortunate luck to share a room with, for GODS sake fucking change your bedsheets because they are brown and your pillow is covered in yellow grease and old blood, stop sleeping in your clothes because they stink of shit, stop expecting me to clean up the mud you bring in with you every day, stop stealing my food because you think I won't notice, don't ever dare borrow my towels again purely because yours is rancid with 5 weeks of dirt on it, and do me a favour.. shut the FUCK up when you come in pissed and coked out of your head every night. Arse hole. Oh and to the other person sharing my room, blow you fother mucking nose you sniffley sick bastard. I am sick of hearing it and imagining the snot going down your throat.

To my friends and family back home, I miss you. And sorry I missed the boat to send Christmas presents home on.. I shall store them and they will be February presents!! Glad tidings mid year or whatever that saying is..

To the bakery where I bought a chicken wrap from today, what the holy smeg were you thinking putting egg in there??! I nearly choked on my own vomit of unexpectedness!

To the vending machine man, please do hurry up and put more water or whatever in the black tea selection because walking all the way upstairs to the one way system kitchen is a ball ache.

To my feet, thank you for getting me to places and sorry you are so scarred.

To anyone reading this in time, what should I have for tea??

And finally. To those I am in love with, I love you. Long time :-)