.... riddled with parasites! And you thought I was going to say home didn't you :) WELL THAT TOO!!! I'M IN EENNNGGGLLLAAANNNDDD!!!!!! Engerlund nar narrr. Ah Enlgland. God Save the Queen England. Fucked up by Conservative BASTARDS England. Cold and raining England. England home. Home in England. Ahhhh. England.
But yeah parasites. And like a lot of them. Parasites that are currently making 10-20 MILLION cysts A DAY In my small intestines as we speak. Parasites that my friends looks like this...
TELL ME they don't look like very happy balloons with jellyfish legs?? I could not believe it when I googled them. I was full on on my tiptoes on the edge of the sofa, holding my face like it might fall off, eyes the widest they have ever been, mouth open in a not surprised but low moaning horror "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauurrrghhhhh" noise, willing myself to pass out so I didn't have to digest the fact that those happy jellyfish balloons were in me. Touching my insides. Brushing past me with their tenticles. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuurrghhhhhh.
(interjection: giggle at the bloke who took that picture being called Dick. Hehe. Dick)
And where did they come from I hear you ask? India.
Everyone warned me. They ALL said "don't go Bear you will end up sick." "Don't go there it's horrible and dirty". "You'll come back with parasites" they said. They were correct. All of them. It was insanely dirty, it was incredibly horrible being constantly stared at and touched by creepy men - why is this just accepted as "normal" in that country?? We even got briefed on how normal it was for men to touch and stare. Grrrr.
But most of all, I got sick. On the first night of being sick I spent 13 whole hours throwing up without a break for sleep and sometimes oxygen, drank 15 litres of water and honestly thought I might die. I was in so much pain. I collapsed on the bathroom floor for awhile so I could assess whether it was worth being upright to be sick or whether it would be a sweet release to just choke on it and be done with it all. I have never, ever been so ill in my life as I was that night.
Since then though I haven't been sick too much, just mainly shedding the cysts out my arse! Nice and graphic for you there! I aim to make you laugh whilst gagging. Makes my day go quicker. But due to the shere volume of cycst wastage, I have decided to come home and get medical help - and thank goodness I did because in 2 weeks, I lost a stone in weight and was incredibly dehydrated.
And now I am home some decisions have had to be made. Plan of action is this.. stay and live with my mumbo jumbo for 6 months, hopefully do some volunteering at the hospital after work, learn to drive I guess (boooo) and then make another decision. 6 month decisions seem to work for the best for now.
Oh dear.. need to go. Medicine kicking in. Update again soon!
But yeah parasites. And like a lot of them. Parasites that are currently making 10-20 MILLION cysts A DAY In my small intestines as we speak. Parasites that my friends looks like this...
TELL ME they don't look like very happy balloons with jellyfish legs?? I could not believe it when I googled them. I was full on on my tiptoes on the edge of the sofa, holding my face like it might fall off, eyes the widest they have ever been, mouth open in a not surprised but low moaning horror "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauurrrghhhhh" noise, willing myself to pass out so I didn't have to digest the fact that those happy jellyfish balloons were in me. Touching my insides. Brushing past me with their tenticles. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuurrghhhhhh.
(interjection: giggle at the bloke who took that picture being called Dick. Hehe. Dick)
And where did they come from I hear you ask? India.
Everyone warned me. They ALL said "don't go Bear you will end up sick." "Don't go there it's horrible and dirty". "You'll come back with parasites" they said. They were correct. All of them. It was insanely dirty, it was incredibly horrible being constantly stared at and touched by creepy men - why is this just accepted as "normal" in that country?? We even got briefed on how normal it was for men to touch and stare. Grrrr.
But most of all, I got sick. On the first night of being sick I spent 13 whole hours throwing up without a break for sleep and sometimes oxygen, drank 15 litres of water and honestly thought I might die. I was in so much pain. I collapsed on the bathroom floor for awhile so I could assess whether it was worth being upright to be sick or whether it would be a sweet release to just choke on it and be done with it all. I have never, ever been so ill in my life as I was that night.
Since then though I haven't been sick too much, just mainly shedding the cysts out my arse! Nice and graphic for you there! I aim to make you laugh whilst gagging. Makes my day go quicker. But due to the shere volume of cycst wastage, I have decided to come home and get medical help - and thank goodness I did because in 2 weeks, I lost a stone in weight and was incredibly dehydrated.
And now I am home some decisions have had to be made. Plan of action is this.. stay and live with my mumbo jumbo for 6 months, hopefully do some volunteering at the hospital after work, learn to drive I guess (boooo) and then make another decision. 6 month decisions seem to work for the best for now.
Oh dear.. need to go. Medicine kicking in. Update again soon!
