Attacking Life

I really feel like life has had a really strong, oppressive hold over me lately. Or maybe rather not a hold but more I feel I have been in a box, lying down on my back and the ceiling of the box has been pushing into me. I have tried to push it upwards and off me but it just hasn't budged much, and even when it has it has come back down on me.

It's all to do with work. I feel I have been suffocated by it. I make plans to do things for myself like going for a bike ride, a swim, a session in the gym, making some soup or a nice meal that doesn't mean stabbing some plastic and putting in the microwave.. but there has been NO TIME.

If I'm not IN work then I am taking calls from work. If I am not taking calls then I am writing down all the things I need to do for work when I am back in, or I am doing some distance learning training.

And it's not just work but it's money too. I have a nice car, a nice living room and bedroom which I have recently decorated and I have been on holiday twice this year but it has put my just over £13,200 in debt. Now I am clearing this at say £900 a month which is fantastic but it has only been this month that I have cut up my cards... and it was then my light bulb moment happened and I realised I HAD to start attacking life and taking it back from the ceiling that was crushing me.

I have cut up the credit cards and set a budget that I have absolutely no option but to stick to because I have no credit to fall back on, and I have made it clear to everyone at work.. I AM NOT doing overtime that doesn't suit me.

I work 40 hours a week as the manager of a mental health unit, 5 days a week and I NEED that break. So I am having it. I will swim every morning. I will starting trying to run on my shin splints again every dog walk, I will cycle every evening, I will do my house jobs every Saturday and I will only spend 2 hours on a Sunday organising my to do list for the next week.

Just writing it makes me feel so much free-er and I can feel myself pushing off the ceiling and revealing a window with trees and rose bushes outside it. I can see light!!!!!

I'm going to eat healthily and enjoy my food again. I will stop going up in weight because all I had time for was McDonalds and I will stop getting headaches and being sick because some days I didn't even get chance to go to McDonald's so I just starved.

In ONE YEAR I want to be so happy it's infectious, so healthy people comment on my looks, and debt free!!

IM GOING TO ATTACK THE SHIT OUT OF LIFE!!!! YEEEEHHHAAWWWWW!!

Camping, Dog, Jumbone, Damaged Car

So I gave Nanook a Jumbone on the last evening, figuring if I was having a treat then he should too. And man did he appreciate it!! He snatched, which he never does unless it's GOOD stuff, went to lie down opposite the tent, just enough away so as to be in eye sight but no where near enough close that I could reach out and take the precious Jumbone, and I'm telling you that dog went to town. He was making grunting noises that reminded me of perhaps a whale feasting on giant seal after months and months of frozen sea trekking. He chewed and he grunted and he swallowed and he growled with pleasure. And then I got my treat out. 

Id just made a lovely warm cup of hot chocolate and I considered my treat options. Chocolate biscuits or Dairy Milk Oreo bar?? To be honest the decision didn't take all too long and in my head that question actually went "chocolate biscuits or Da-" and then the decision was made. So I gently, like in the adverts almost seductively, like this chocolate bar was going to be in for a bloody good night of gentle spanking and silky bondage, caressed the outside of the smooth bar. I felt the perfectly square nobbles of chocolate underneath, aching for their release. I carefully followed the easy unpacking instructions and pulled the paper seems apart. I felt like I was unpopping the shirt buttons of Sean Bean such was my excitement. 

And there it was. Slutty, tantalising, beautiful Orea stuffed chocolate. I broke a length off. And that's when the romance ended. And I ended up with a dent on my car. 

Nanook, with his selectively astounding hearing, had heard the rather erotic unveiling of what should have been MY guilty pleasure. His Jumbone which had served him so well was now officially defunct. It all happened in slow mo. As I opened the top layer and snapped off the length that would have been at least a meals worth of calories, I had a huge open mouthed "yay" expression on my face. At the same time, Nanook with ALL of his force, who also happened to be mid lick of his Jumbone, LAUNCHED the Jumbone towards the car. As my "yay" face looked up to great a flying, top lip flapping, ears pinned back with G-force, pupils so dilated they were totally black, wolf, the Jumbone, in equal amounts of slow motion, went hurtling through the air.

It made a "whooomppp-whooomppp" noise as it tumbled through oxygen particles, parting like the Red Sea in a direct line to my car door. And as my face began to droop to a "nooooooo" face, and Nanook has successfully made his way over to the tent, skidding on all fours to come to an abrupt mouth open half, he pawed me straight in the eye to beg for the chocolate, and the Jumbone made a rather loud "clunk" noise as it rocketed off the paint work. 

In summary, Nanook got his chocolate, my car is now damaged, and I have learnt Jumbones are not only a tasty dog treat, but also a weapon.