I Can't Stop Thinking About It...

Seriously now my birthday meal with Audrey was sensational. I don't know if it was SO good because I was a little bit tipsy or whether it really was good but lately, I have been enjoying my food so much. Everything just tastes better here you know? Like every morning I will have a honey yoghurt on top of some nuts and fruit and it's amazing. Everyday I have salad sandwich with either tuna or chicken and everytime it's fabulous. And because it is SO cheap to eat out at restaurants here in comparison to both making your own meals and eating out in the UK, I am experiencing so many more things.

I had a mexican chicken parma with Clare the other day and it actually turned me on. SO nice!! And then it was topped off by a chocolate pizza... outrageous you say?! I know I retort!! But fucking me sideways with the longest tent pole you can fine - it was bloody amazing.

I keep finding these new places to eat because there are thousands.. and new drinks to try and I am DESPERATE to share my finds with people. Kev is going to hate me I am sure for forcing him to come and eat out with me every night.. which is why I need other people such as you, Tracy and you, Stephanie! to hurry up and get out here before I have to leave Melbourne!!!

The other night was fantastic actually, let me tell you about that.

It was a charity trivia night with the Aus Post guys. $2 entry, free pizza and $1 beers. I mean if they had just said free pizza I would of been there but when they threw in $1 beers I actually lost my vision for a short period whilst my over dilated pupils readjusted. It wasn't just a boring quiz either there were rounds when you had to stand and either hold your arse (tails) or your head (heads.. given) and stand like that till the quiz master flipped a coin. Only when it wasn't the side you were tolding were you allowed to sit down. Omg also, one team had the BEST team name ever.. Quizzed In My Pants!

There was forehead to mouth cookie eating contest which was hilarious!! Alex did it for our team and his eyebrows are so extraordinarily large that the cookie couldn't get past them. He went crosseyed and was moving his face like those freaky kids from the Cadbury advert to try get the cookie over the bushy ridges - there was some wee on my seat by the time he had finished.

There was a paper aeroplane throwing contest!! I came second with my green F-23 replica. Melissa nearly lost an eye when another team launched their flat ridicul0us version of a plane and another girl on another team was holding back tears when the pointy nose cone of one stabbed in her the back of her head. Jesus that was so funny. Tears were mingling with the urine at that point.

We came 5th out of 9 I think which was good going seen as 2nd 3rd 4th all had the same points.. so techinically we were 3rd but whatever, it was fun regardless of position :D .. something I don't normally say hehehhe.. ahh. Rudeness.

I have had my ears lowered today - woopity. Kev arrives on Thursday - woop woopity. It is Melbourne Cup day on Tuesday but seen as I work a Queensland ledger I have to work, therefore missing out on a public holiday. Not that it matters because I am getting $74 AN HOUR!!! -WOOP WOOPITY WOOP FUDGING WOOP!! AND!!!! My little sister had a baby last night :D Congratulations Mrs :) I can't wait to see her xx

Right - Eastenders catch up time and most definitely I need 2 caramel tim tams to dip in a brew.

Catch you next week avid viewers :D

It's My Birthday You See...

And the first one abroad I think! Living in a different country for your 26th birthday earning £40k a year I think is an achievement. Wonder where I will be and how much I will be on in 10 years time?! (looks up at the sky with hands together and whispers "please have just won the lottery by then.. please").

Today I spent it in work.. joy.. but it was so sweet. The guys didn't know it was my birthday but as soon as I announced it, I turned around for a split second, looked back at my desk and a cake with a candle appeared!!! Folk gathered and sang HB. Embarrasment but I blew out the candle and made a wish :-) Then later, a whole bar of chocolate :D It was very, very sweet. As was the chocolate.. I got a chocolate headache :/ so worth it though.

As work was full on stressful again, I am absolutely shattered. That may also have something to do with the two glasses of champagne I downed as part of my birthday celebrations at 11pm last night and everyones alarms going off at 5am.. damn builders and their alarms!!!

Last nights meal though was spe--len--ded. Scotch fillet wrapped around parma ham, swiss cheese and aspargas, on top of some garlic mash, honey roasted carrots, wilted spinach and a red ju (what ever that was.. I was expecting a suburnt man holding the torah with a top hat and curly sideburns..). Seriously though.. best.. meal.. eeevverrrrrrrrrr. And the champagne was mixed with blueberry vodka. Fucking FINE night out!!!

I have ordered the new iPhone as a birthday present to myself. Happy birthday me. It shall arrive with the Kevin - have I told you guys I have paid for Kev's ticket out here??? PRAYING he gets work asap.. would like that money back hehe.

Going to book us on some tours too when he gets some money going. He needs to see the GOR. Beautiful. And I proper really can't wait for Sydney now. Sky dive over the beach I THINK SO!

Tomorrow I am off for dinner with Miss Conway and can't WAIT to have a good bitch!!! Been wayyyy too long.

I'm going to go to sleep now.. 8.37pm on my birthday and I am in PJs.. and yes.. I have had a jam sandwich to cement the celebrations. Rock and effin Roll.

Peace out.

The Answer!

They say kids are happier when they have a routine. That is 100% correct for me too! I won't generalise and say for adults too because maybe it really is just me, but I have truely found the key to making me feel content... mix the following ingredients:

• Soaps - the discovery of Eastenders on YouTube hasn't stopped there. I am now subscribed to Corrie and Emmerdale too! Hoo-fucking-rah;
• Cleaning - my UK Sunday ritual was do the washing, change the bedsheets and do the hoovering. Here it is a little more long winded because I have to fight with ignorant French people of the dryers and we don't have a hoover.. we do though have a broom;
• F1 - completely and 100% full on essential. Without this in my life my Sundays are spent in a spiral of depression and a face covered in melted chocolate;
• Tea - black, half a teaspoon of sugar;
• Jam - I need jam. On white bread only for a sandwich or multigrain for toast. I love jam. Every single flavour of jam. Jam makes life worth living. Jam and tea. Combined. I need jam on a Sunday.

So today I feel ok. Today is a good day. I have Sundays sorted :) and I have weekdays sorted with work till 4.30pm, then running. I have set a goal to match Peter's time of running around the F1 track in 20 minutes.. So far I have done it twice and my best time is 43 minutes. I have some catching up to do but I will make it!!

Happy bear today. Oh, also - look up "c-word appear on wheel of fortune" on YouTube. Weeing material.

Have a glorious day :)

Hello YouTube.... Hello Homesickness

The most amazing thing has happened. Someone.. most likely Jesus Himself has a YouTube page dedictated to Eastenders. And every night He uploads the latest episode. I can only imagine He does that with His Jesus powers whilst ironing His long white robes, whilst a harpest plays in the bachground.. fairys brushing His long hair....

So for the first time since 18th June, I have watched an episode of Eastenders. It wasn't a particualry upsetting episode but man.. have I had a good skriek over it. The theme tune, the dum dums at the end, and then the BBC lady introducing the next show. It reminded me very much that I was watching it very far away from home.

I miss 7pm after work on my sofa times watching the soaps. Homesickness is proper kicking me in the shins tonight.

The money might be good...

But the stress is beyond not worth it. I arrive at 8.30am, don't take breaks, and only 30 min lunches. In two days I have amassed 92 voicemails. I cleared 68 emails today and have another 43 to check tomorrow

I'm told by management not to reverse late payment fees but when it's escalated he doesn't even look at the acc just tells me to reverse it.

I have had nothing but screaming people about a $ 15 late payment fee and jam officially fed up.

Yes it's great money but collections is not for me.... So what is????

To You...

Dear you.

To the person who thought not training staff was ok, I can confirm it isn't but I am coping just about. To the guy helping me and letting me bug him to death, thank you so much.. but it also won't EVER happen because your sideburns are extraordinarily massive.. so you may stop starring at the ladies. Although I appreciate that is hard to do. They are epic.

Speaking of which, to the men who stared and to the people who sold me veg much cheaper than the woman stood next to me with the beard, thanks for not telling me my top THREE shirt buttons were undone. And on that note, thank you bra for being a push up. Love cheap strawberries.

To the couples having picnics and the people doing exercise in the park during office hours, screw you!! Or tell me how you manage to live such a laid back wonderful life.

To the bloke I caught videoing the girls playing netball today on your mobile phone, I reported you to the school. Sick freak.

To the person I have the unfortunate luck to share a room with, for GODS sake fucking change your bedsheets because they are brown and your pillow is covered in yellow grease and old blood, stop sleeping in your clothes because they stink of shit, stop expecting me to clean up the mud you bring in with you every day, stop stealing my food because you think I won't notice, don't ever dare borrow my towels again purely because yours is rancid with 5 weeks of dirt on it, and do me a favour.. shut the FUCK up when you come in pissed and coked out of your head every night. Arse hole. Oh and to the other person sharing my room, blow you fother mucking nose you sniffley sick bastard. I am sick of hearing it and imagining the snot going down your throat.

To my friends and family back home, I miss you. And sorry I missed the boat to send Christmas presents home on.. I shall store them and they will be February presents!! Glad tidings mid year or whatever that saying is..

To the bakery where I bought a chicken wrap from today, what the holy smeg were you thinking putting egg in there??! I nearly choked on my own vomit of unexpectedness!

To the vending machine man, please do hurry up and put more water or whatever in the black tea selection because walking all the way upstairs to the one way system kitchen is a ball ache.

To my feet, thank you for getting me to places and sorry you are so scarred.

To anyone reading this in time, what should I have for tea??

And finally. To those I am in love with, I love you. Long time :-)

3 Months Since I Left..

.. and almost 2 months since I have lived in Australia. Time is flying past and I like it. As much as I enjot meeting new people and what have you, I still have that longing to come home. Howvever.. as mentioned in previous posts I think it's more a yearning for my own space. I get to see a couple of apartments this week but none are available till mid October. Just got to hang on in there a little bit longer.

I was looking to switch hostels but it would appear I am in the cheapest that doesn't have rats. Buggery.

Anyway!! Let me give you fans a wee update! I started working for Origin but was so completely DICKED by my agent who got me in there I decided to leave for a job with Aus Post. And so far.. so good!! I get to set my own times to work, I get my own ledger that is just for me to control. I get to run reports and work off a timetable that I create... honestly.. it's like that episode from Friends when Monica gets her lable maker out... I AM IN ORGANISED HEAVEN!!

I am though terribly missing my new found mates at Origin. I seem to have just waltzed into the place and made.. hopefully... some friends for life. Or at least some aquaintences that I can drop in on should I ever come back travelling. "Well..!" ;-P

We went out on Friday actually and I got obscenly shit faced... and righty so because I spent $200 doing it!! I got barred from having any more shots in one bar which well fucked me off because I proper wanted to try this new one. I have found a new love thanks to Michael... vodka with brown sugar and lime.. FIT!

I met Adam, one of Greene's friends who was lovely but so has the weirdest poshest Irish accent ever! We three were watching inbetweeners back at Andrew's and I think I may have passed out because I remember watching it then waking up under a sleeping bag.. woops. Thanks though boys for not drawing on my face or anything.. can't say I would have been so good to you had the tables been turned.

In other good news, it appears to be getting warmer! I have lost my wooly hat to the mess that is the top shelf on the wardrobe but it's ok now there is sunshine. There was one hell of a storm the other day mind!! The ligthtening and thunder was extreme. LOVE a good storm.

I have found a new place to eat too and fuck ME is it nice. It is called Vegout, recommended to me by Stephen before he left. And I am full on hooked. It is basically a vegie curry house and for $8.80 you can get half a tub of rice and 2 curry types. I adore the pumpkin curry. It does me for two meals as well so its rate cheap! Iove dipping in a spinach and ricotta roll too. A thousand billion calories but who cares when it's orgasmic.

Well... I had written more but it appears the blog didn't like it so it deleted. TWAT!!! But as a last minute thought.. if those who have skype but have not added me... Tim Deering, and those who should get skype so I can call them more often.. Alistair and Vicky.. my skype name is lizrow. I am currently 10 hours ahead of you but when your clocks go back, I will be 11 hours ahead. Bare it in mind when you want to call or text me :-) that goes for you too CK. Texting at 3am my time will result in a severed penis.

To end it like TJ... have a wonderful day xx