It has sold over 8 million copies and I bet you every single one of those 8 million readers will have said exactly what I am going to say now... “this is me!” I am the lost and heartbroken woman who was once crying every night of my life for the loss of someone I adore because he turned into a self-centred cunt, and I am the one who found someone else within minutes of losing that person, fell spectacularly in love with them and he with me and he turns out to not really want me for me but for the free spirit I impersonated to get over loss number 1.
And I am the person who is learning another language to be more sexy!! (French – bonjour! You can see my lessons are paying off). And I am the one who is jetting off around the world not just to collect super cool stamps and visas in my passport, but to figure out what actually makes me just be happy not just for the moment, but for ever.
And right now, whilst I am writing this particular piece, I am happy. I have had such a lovely week and a lovely weekend so far. I am so busy it's wonderful! I don't have time to sit around and think I should be fucking doing something with me life because I actually am off doing something. And thank Crunchy (oo Crunchy.. shop break) for Facebook seen as my memory is hideously.. I've forgotten. I have to look back on my 598 postings for the week to figure out exactly what I did and when.
I'm not sure whether I told you on the last blog, but I went to see Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic play tennis at the Rod Laver arena – it was SO amazing. I have never been to the tennis, nor have I ever been to a sporting event that has been so full on tension making, so full of mutual respect for both opponents from the crowd, to where I physically lost my voice screaming in applaud or to where I would with pleasure sit for another 5 hours straight, bladder pushing other organs into areas they shouldn't be, just to do it all again. I loved it. I adore tennis anyway but now I am seriously hooked. Tennis is my new football and on a par with F1. Which is a big deal!
Last Saturday was spent doing what I do best – burning. I burnt so badly that around my belly button there is a ring of teeeeny tiny blisters. Grim.com I am aware. My tan lines are utterly fantastic and due to switching bikini style on a regular basis, my boob tan lines are starting to look like the outline of a crossword puzzle; there are little squares, rectangles and triangles of such differently covered skin in a very small (yet generously proportioned) area that you could at the very least play connect the dots.. imagine if you did and it made a bucket and spade!! Fitting.
Anyway. Safe to say today's outing to the beach resulted in actual sunscreen wearing and later, a white top wearage! I Sarah Bear Rowlands covered up skin in order NOT to get more burnt. This my friends and avid viewers, is a sure sign of growing up. Good times.
Now let me just check Facebook whilst I eat this Crunchy so I can figure out what I did Monday/Tuesday.... Ah yes Monday I played my guitar until my finger skin came off. Attractive. And I cleaned the kitchen to within an inch of its greasy life whilst listening to an amazing set by AVB – look it up it's called A State of Trance Episode 403. Tuesday and Wednesday I was up at the gym at 5.30am in the morning – this MUST be a more regular outing so I can be more skinny in time for the next adventures (further information below), and I saw the F1 stands being built up around Albert Park. YAY!!!!!! there is only like 38 days to go!!! EEEEE. Now all Australia Post need to do is find my twatting tickets, and all the ticket providers need to do is email me back to send me fresh twatting tickets seen as Australia Post are twatting useless. RAGE.
Wednesday was very productive and very, very nice :) In terms of productivity I booked tickets on The Overland train to Adelaide, and train tickets on The Ghan to Alice Springs and Darwin. Exciting times!! Omega the weirdest thing happened though! I called a hostel called backpack Oz in Adelaide and spoke to this girl who was clearly from Manchester. I asked her “can I please have some details sent to me via email”, to which she replied “no worries ducky love whatsya email?”. So I spell out my name and she goes “noooo waaay?! Sarah ROWLANDS?!?!”.. I reply yes in a cautious manner, slightly taken aback by the abrupt shock that my adopted name had caused and followed it with “why?”, to which she paused to take a massive breath before exploding down the phone “THATS MYYYY NAAAAME!!”. No. Ducking. Way. Two kids from the North West backpacking around a foreign country, talking to each other on the phone with the same name.. the odds of that happening ever again are extreme. This was one momentous occasion in what I feel will be both of our lives. A story I can guarantee you I will be reciting to my grandchildren.. on the basis I avoid early onset of Alzheimers of course. Fingers crossed!
And in terms of very nice, I went on an enchanting outing with my new blonde haired, blue eyed Irish friend Nige (stop snorting back a giggle.. I know). He is lovely. Full stop. He sits in cafes and drinks lattes whilst writing poems and songs to sing on his guitar when he busks. He has an accent. He believes in ghosts and has the spirit of his grandmother with him at all times. He wears a cross for protection but isn't religious. He owns a farm and two cows, Robbie and Ronan. He makes me laugh and he bought me drinks in the evening after I bought him a picnic for the beach where we watched the sunset. He's very clever. And tall. And did I mention he has blue eyes? I am trying my most hardest not to fuck this one up after Mathew told me off for being too picky with men. But now I have decided I am NOT going to fuck it up and I do actually quite like him after 3 meeting ups, I am now in that state of should I text him or should I wait for him to text me?? Does he like me like me or does he just friend like me?? Damn you Mathew!! You should have left me alone to self destruct lol
But anyway I enjoyed my picnic with him and the sunset was beautiful. We were also attacked by a massive, and I mean MASSIVE pack of seagulls. And it turns out we share the same seagull fear. We watched them being chased off by a pack of magpies which was so interesting to see. There was a good 50-60 white seagulls literally on the left hand side of us, us acting as the middle neutral Belgium ground, and on the other side 4 pitch black magpies with white tipped wings. In the middle at our Belgian feet was a slice of pastry.. and the 4 magpies like giant bouncers at a night club dominating a pack of white under-aged teenagers owned that pastry. It was theirs. And should a little white insignificant juvenile attempt to steal it away from the black Buddha's with mace, there was a significant amount of bird screaming and feather loss. Enough feather to at least fill a pillow.
So that engaged my attention for at least awhile. I went to watch the Australia vs India T20 cricket match on Friday. Australia lost which meant India FINALLY won something bless them. The absolute highlight of that night though was not the actual cricket play itself but it was my friend Nitin who so you understand the story, was holding his India flag in the same hand as his cigarette. Both of us were giggling because he had just said “he was having a fag between his fingers” haha fnar so of course there was immediate questioning on his current homosexual engagement, but because we were paying so much attention to laughing, we hadn't realised his flag had been set on fire by his ciggie! We were posing for a photo still giggling when I jokingly said through clenched teeth in order to maintain the photo smile “I can smell fire, you haven't set the flag on fire have you?”, and he said through similarly clenched teeth “no I don't think.. OH SHIT!!” before further defiling of the flag by stamping the flames out. Brilliancy.
Ooh I skipped a day... Thursday. Thursday I booked my tickets to New Zealand and also a wee tour of India there :) I iz well bad going to India for 33 days!! 10 of which will be spent in Goa, and 5 of those days will be on my own on the beach gearing up for a very cold winter spent at home.. for I have also booked my tickets home!! I can officially announce folk that I am landing in Manchester on October 17th. I expect all of my good friends to be there at my mums in Chesterfield holding banners, wearing party hats and for there to be a full on buffet with mums famous salmon cucumber baps. I hope that is understood and acknowledged.
And so that leaves me with today. A wonderful day lying on the beach reading my Eat, Pray, Love (notice the word my in that statement there, mine), swimming in the ocean with little silver fishes, being woken up by a very drunk Peter getting into bed with me and trying to sell me his girlfriends blue shoes at mates rates, and now later, I am going to eat bit of jam on toast, have a cup coffee vodka hot chocolate and read some more of MY book in preparation for having breakfast at 2 Doors Down whilst my laundry does it's stuff tomorrow, a MAMMOUTH gym session and some guitar playing in the afternoon. And perhaps the zoo.
I love my life. I love Australia. See you later :)
