One minute on cloud nine..

The next.. rock bottom. It's very annoying lol.

I've started to write and now I can't remember if I had anything to say. I was thinking about soul mates earlier.. I know I've met mine. Twice lol. And for both I haven't been theirs. I'm not sure why.

I'm very fed up of work. 9 weeks to go till I leave and I proper really can't wait. It never used to be this much of a chore but since December it really has been. I hate it.. my sell by date for that job has been and gone and I am very much bitter now. At least I have Greece coming up :) can't wait to see my mum. Terribly afraid that with how emotional I am at the moment if I have a couple to drink I might end up crying uncontrollably on her for several hours lol.. not done that for almost 10 years. Sometimes you just really need your mum though ay.

It annoys me so much that I really miss Craig. I just don't understand him at all. One minute he says things like "for the record, I love you.. and if things were different..".. and then the next minute gone. Just gone completely out of my life. It was like ripping a massive chunk off me that I needed and depended on, and then not being able to find it.. I never really stay mad for very long and immediately shut off.. then I sleep on it and time goes on and I start panicing again. Where is this massive missing bit of me?? I miss it!!

I've attempted to ask him if I have done something wrong but not because I believe I have, it was just to try and get some contact out of him. Even if we don't see each other again I just want to know he is ok. I like it when he is watching out for me.. or spying as we called it.

I think I would really like a cuddle now.

Aqua

Terrible band/group. Good song - If Only I Could Turn Back Time. It's really funny actually that my friend should post a blog about the past raising it's ugly head today because so did mine. But it's not ugly.. just a bit missed.

My missed past always comes about when I am having a clear out because I find some things I have been saving. Today though I sent it back to him. Kept a couple of bits but sent the rest back. I don't think about him too much anymore but when I see anything the relates to him I often sigh, smile and think back. We had some good times really. He's a good lad. Maybe if I knew what I did now, had the experience I have today then it would have been so different.

I wish you could go back in time with the new knowledge. I miss him today.

Ridiculous!!!

I went for my travel jabs yesterday and they went well. Had tetn and thyphoid for free - always good times! She then said ok this is what you need:

• Hep B


• Jap enc


• Rabies

Cost??? £300.00. I nearly died. Seriously. But I figure I am better off jabbed and £300.00 down then dead and £300.00 up! So today I phoned the clinic and was told this... "Miss Rowlands your injections will cost you £430.00".

Screwed. Can't pay it. Will die a horrible disease. Lame.