The next.. rock bottom. It's very annoying lol.
I've started to write and now I can't remember if I had anything to say. I was thinking about soul mates earlier.. I know I've met mine. Twice lol. And for both I haven't been theirs. I'm not sure why.
I'm very fed up of work. 9 weeks to go till I leave and I proper really can't wait. It never used to be this much of a chore but since December it really has been. I hate it.. my sell by date for that job has been and gone and I am very much bitter now. At least I have Greece coming up :) can't wait to see my mum. Terribly afraid that with how emotional I am at the moment if I have a couple to drink I might end up crying uncontrollably on her for several hours lol.. not done that for almost 10 years. Sometimes you just really need your mum though ay.
It annoys me so much that I really miss Craig. I just don't understand him at all. One minute he says things like "for the record, I love you.. and if things were different..".. and then the next minute gone. Just gone completely out of my life. It was like ripping a massive chunk off me that I needed and depended on, and then not being able to find it.. I never really stay mad for very long and immediately shut off.. then I sleep on it and time goes on and I start panicing again. Where is this massive missing bit of me?? I miss it!!
I've attempted to ask him if I have done something wrong but not because I believe I have, it was just to try and get some contact out of him. Even if we don't see each other again I just want to know he is ok. I like it when he is watching out for me.. or spying as we called it.
I think I would really like a cuddle now.
Sarah, work sucks but remember what you are working towards!! 9 weeks is feck all in the grand scheme of things and the adventure you have coming up will allow you to let go of that cycle of work and the daily grind.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm allowed to offer a bit of advice, if that lad you mention is in and out of your life, let him go, your just going to turn yourself inside out thinking about it and believe me I've been in a similar position and it seems I'm going to have to go through it again towards the end of my time in Ireland.
A girl I've been waiting for over a year and a half to get close to has finally got over her problems and is now slowly showing the right signs towards me even though she is still unstable.
She means the world to me and if things had of been different, I would have probably not have been going on this mad adventure but as she has left it way to late now, I'm not changing anything as I would just end up resenting her if I decided to not go.
If you love something set it free and if it comes back to you, it belongs to you and if not, it was never meant to be :)
Chin up honey, your going to have a great adventure on your travels and who knows, you might meet someone amazing while out in the big wide world x
I'm no angel :) I've got my demons (Being a cynical bastard and the grog) still being controlled and finally put down but I know I'm going out on the road again for all the right reasons and as much as I'll like to have a proper relationship with her, at this moment in time it just isn't going to happen, so fuck it! We are here for a good time, not a long time :)
ReplyDeleteJust passing on the experiences I've had down the years Sarah :)
I absolutely adore this comment "We are here for a good time, not a long time :)" - you should write a book of emotional inspiration hehehe. If she is worth it, she might be there when you get back xx
ReplyDeleteBefore I left for Australia in 2006, I had to let go in all probability, my soul mate.
ReplyDeleteShe was from a different background, British but from Indian origins and I was with her for 2 years secretly as her family would have disowned her if they had have found out. It totally destroyed me having just sat down on my flight and getting a phone call with her crying her eyes out as she knew that we'd probably never see each other again.
I can't go through that again so I'm going to tell her when I leave Ireland for home before travels, that I will not be holding on to any hope of being with her.
6 Billion people on this planet, I'll find one out there :D
Its a shame but I'm not having my heart broken again.
Ooooh bless your heart that is horrible :( but 100% the right decision xxx you're brave dude and this trip will be fantastically worth it!! Will you be in Thailand July 21st-29th??
ReplyDeleteI will indeed :) I land in Bangkok July 13th and was planning on doing a 7 day tour.
ReplyDeleteI'm supposed to be meeting a friend down on one of the islands but I'm not to sure about going straight down to one of the party islands.
What tour are you going on?
Shit happens :) What doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger x
it sure do Sir :-) I'm doing this one:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.realgap.co.uk/thailand-experience
I believe I should be in Koh Pang Yang between 23rd-28th x
I'll be on koh phangan from the 21st Onwards so we can hook up then for a chin wag and a few beers :)
ReplyDeleteYou just keep your tail up and don't let work or any other fucker on this planet drag you down :)
I look at my brother who is married and most of the boys back home in the same situation, are they happy? No, they would all rather be coming with me :)
haha awwww bless their hearts. Let's not ever get old!!! and most definitely meet up for a drinky poo :) and go diving!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHell yeah :)
ReplyDeleteIn touch with plenty of people reference New Zealand as well so everything is simmering nicely :)
ooooooo fantabulous!!!! have yougot a working visa for there yet?? x
ReplyDeleteYup, everything is sorted now. Just got to hand in my passport to the Thai & Kiwi embassies when I'm over in London later this week to get the visas put in and then thats it, finally part sorted :D
ReplyDeleteJust can't wait to be lounging around in a hammock, with a gorgeous sunset in the background and the sound of the sea :)
oooooooooo that does sound nice :-) im in greece on sunday BOOYAHHH!!!
ReplyDeleteLucky sod :) Whereabouts?
ReplyDeleteI'm just happy to be going home to England this weekend coming for a bbq, St.Georges Day and to basically spend time with everyone :)
awwwwww are you going to Boston? I'm going Corfu, roda beach spa baby yeah!!
ReplyDeleteooohhh nice :) Nah, family are now in London, I was just born in Boston and only a few extended family live up there now.
ReplyDeleteAh so what accent do you have?!
ReplyDeleteI'd rather post on here then on Travel Buddy as you never know who is watching :)
ReplyDeleteThat girl I mentioned before, has gone totally cold towards me. I really have no idea what her problem is! Says she wants to spend a weekend in London with me, I try to get a date organized and she said that she will see if she wants to go! She f**king suggested it! I've been told in the past to just let her go but its an itch I just have to scratch till the bitter end. The good thing is that I can leave this all behind very soon and finally have closure, kind of the same thing I was saying to you :)
Why are people so weird?!?! what is wrong with her?! you are lovely?!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it is with her, I got a text 5 minutes ago wishing me a safe journey etc...
ReplyDeleteI just can't let it go, not while I'm in Ireland.
What I'm trying to do is spend as much time with her as possible, do all the normal things two people would do (Its not even about shagging! I've got my stripes ages again reference all that crap), go down the park for a nice laze around in the sun, down the beach for a stroll...its not like I'm asking her to marry me! Its so f**king frustrating!
Ages ago* That is what that should read :)
ReplyDeleteHave you come out and told her exactly how you feel about it and what you want from your last few weeks there?
ReplyDeleteYes, she knows. I think me leaving might give her the kick up the arse she needs but she has to be bloody quick with making a decision.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going out there to shag my way around, well beyond that now but I'm not going to wait months to see what happens.