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| Supermarket Sweep!!! |
I was sat here earlier, in front of the
TV where I have to admit I have been for the entire day when my
bestest good Gemma called me for a talk. We had the general catch up
and moan before the standard round up of “what's on TV tonight
anything good?”... and the answer is simply no. No there isn't.
Staying true to my upbringing and enforcing my stubbornness for
change, I perused the standard 4 analogue stations and became utterly
depressed. SPLASH! was on IVT1 (oh the days when it was just called
Granada and could be identified without a number).. as if I needed
more reason to kill myself? And BBC1 had Flog It! (notice how both of
those programs on the main channels have an exclamation mark,
presumably to mask their shitness with gestured enthusiasm!).. and
that was actually worse than SPLASH!
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| "Oh Dale. If only you weren't half gay half carrot" |
Faced with what seemed like SPLASH! And
a sharp knife to my wrist, in a semi desperate bid to stay alive just
a wee bit longer, I flicked through and found.... oh sweet lord the
goodness.. Challenge TV.. no exclamation mark needed. Good, proper
old school real TV with real people playing proper games. And
watching them back reeeallly makes me appreciate everything which I
know sounds ridiculous but the old school prizes.. MINT. and when I
say old school it's only 20 years ago but we seem to have forgotten
the simple pleasure of winning a microwave – it's still a prize
kids!!!! It doesn't have to be £20k! Anyway...
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| All hands Mr John |
It started with Supermarket Sweep –
the hair, the colours of the waistcoats, the fact a hosepipe was an
expensive must have item in the trolley, the mega prize of £2000
that had to be won on speed and the ability to match rhyming food
items to riddle clues. Just epic. And Dale's skin and matching
shoulder padded blazer. Ah man. Just yes.
Then Wheel of Fortune – with the
gorgeous, if slightly rapey, John Leslie. Again, physical skill of
lugging that wheel around, mental agility of what is essentially hang
man, and the prizes! Wow. An exercise bike, a combi fridge freezer...
a hamper of makeup!!!! Man those were the days.. and if you lost you
actually lost. You might get an “I was on a game show” token
prize but essentially you were shit out of luck. No “aww I'm sorry
here is £10,000 please don't sue us for emotional damage”.
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| Penis |
And then.. oooh my Saturday childhood
favourite.. Big Break. Jim Davidson, what an absolute Cashew Nut..
but John Virgo.. secret childhood crush. And the theme tune!! “I'm
famed for my aim so you better believe I'm right! I'm going to be
snookering you, snookering you tonight, BIG BREAK!” - goosebumps!!
But now THEIR prizes.. absolutely other level of WOW: a CARPET
BAG!!!!!, turntable stereo system, gourmet soup cook book and the
mystery star prize – a 15 inch colour TV with video player and the
choice of FIVE BBC videos of YOUR choice. Core fudging blimey.
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