Bangkok Baby!

Wassup hommies?! I'm so sorry I haven't been blogging as I go as promised but I genuinely haven't had 5 minutes to stop or 5 minutes on my own. So due to jungle related injuries which I will explain later, and an empty hotel room for 30 minutes, I will blog about days 1-3 of the tour :-)

So getting here was a pain in the bastard arse!! Mum cried as I left which set me off so on the train to Derby my face exploded into a swollen puffer fishes that was red with white blotcy spots.. attractive I know - I was peeling potential suitors off at this point. Then my connecting train was leaving at 10 past the hour on the other platform... I arrived at 6 minutes past the hour and it took me 20 minutes to pull my twattingly large case up the first flight of stairs - so I missed it. I had to pay another £20.00 to get to the airport which isn't so bad but still a fricking ball ache when I planned on spending that last bit of cash money on books and malteasers. Not one person offered to help me with me sack of bricks either the meanies.

Honestly though my bag is really fucking heavy. The airport man sent me to another lane to check my bag in because it was so large.. and now I am here buying soveniers and clothes I will never wear again it has gotten heavier! When I got to BKK, the taxi man meeting me didn't speak much English but he did manage to say "ooh heavy yes?" before snapping his spine in 4 places lifting the case into the boot. Haha also, we were driving along and there were all these boards up with smiling faces and numbers next to them. I asked him what they were for and he said "erections" haha - he meant elections but I sat in silence jerking with silent laughter for approximately the rest of the day.

Bangkok though... mint. I arrived at night when Koh San Road was at its livliest and I can't explain to you the varierty of smells, the colours, the amount of people from all over the world.. it was insane! And I loved it. The second I got on that road I knew Thailand was a fantastic choice for the first stop. The hotel was pretty rank to be honest but it had 4 walls, a bed and a shower which I desperately needed.. I was attracting flies and had I not had a shower I think doctors would have assumed I was the walking dead who was decaying on her feet and attempted to bury me or something.

The first morning I went down to breakfast and to check out of the room. I met this lovely woman from Scotland who told me her entire life story by the time I had finished buttering my first slice of toast. By the time I had finished spreading the jam I had found out about an abusive relationship and by the time I had finished eating both of the pieces of toast I felt like I had lived with her for my whole life and that I might marry one of her sons!

Later on I met Tracy, my fellow northern adventure room mate! She is ace - dead funny! We explored Bangkok a little bit and had our first Pad Thai's - yum fucking scrum about sums it up. We got completely drenched in hot rain then went back to the room where I sat drying under freezing air con.... enter cold and chest infection that lasted a week - I still have my cough, though it is less flemmy.. always a good thing! Less to chew... (lol at the people who just went "ewwww")

Whilst it felt like we were in Bangkok for ages, we actually weren't - we left for Kanchanaburi (further bloggage to come) on day 3. Day 2 was spent walking around he Grand Palace, Wat Po, Reclining Buddha, Wat Arun, a river trip and then finally back Koh San Road on a Tuk Tuk! Those things are MENTAL!! They drive at inconcievable for the size speeds and will literally drive over anything and anyone in their way - the near misses and probably now limping dogs were too many to count. All the places we went to were amazing and covered in gold. The reclining Buddha was MASSIVE!!! There you get to throw coins into 120 wishing pots.. so I wished 60 times for my mums health and 60 times for everyone elses :-) (and then a lil wish at the end that I will marry a blonde haired, blue eyed sex beast with a 10 inch cock who wants 4 babies and has a good heart.. might as well wish whilst I can!)

We are back to Bangkok for one day at the end of the tour before I am off to Cambodia so will get to eat some Pad Thai off the street stalls again before I go. Bangkok was truely amazing and so much fun. You guys should come see... Gemma!! Futher blogging will arrive shortly...