Last Night in High Wycombe: Facebook Commentary

11pm: Sarah 'Bear' Rowlands: last night in the flat.. last night in High Wycombe. Spent with two of my bestest good friends eating the bestest good indian in the land. Now.. to actually pack.

2am: Sarah 'Bear' Rowlands: Major embarrasing uneven pre-holiday eye brow plucking. I guess I will have to tell people I have had a minor stroke or something.

3am: Sarah 'Bear' Rowlands: ‎3.05am on the buzzer, everything is finally packed and in walks VERY drunk housemate with a guy she doesn't know and a female friend literally screaming "that bloke is a fucking nutter Emily, a fucking NUTTER!".. Fun last night in High Wycombe.

3.30am: Sarah 'Bear' Rowlands: Housemate has got off with the stranger and has now booked a taxi for another male friend.. however she is so shit faced she has just called and asked ANOTHER male friend round "for a good hard fuck" - this could be interesting when both arrive at the same time.

3.31am: she is currently now on the phone to the 2nd guy begging him to not come over now she has realised her mistake...

3.33am: she has now told 2nd guy the truth and pleading with him to not think she is a slapper... apparently he is coming over for a really fast 5 minutes shag...

3.35am: 2nd guy has arrived... 1st guy will be here in like 7 minutes time!!! oooooh the tension!!!

3.42am: ‎1st guy is HERE!!!! MID SHAG OF THE 2ND GUY!!! oooooooooooh horror...

3.44am: she has just buzzed the 1st guy up as she tells the 2nd guy "he's a rubbish shag but you.." - restarts shag!!! the 1st bloke is at the fucking door!!!

3.47am: 1st guy still waiting at the door..... shag still going on. I am very unhappy I can actually hear all this :(

3.50am: 1st guy is ringing the mobile again... she is letting him in now. 2nd guy being rushed out!

3.51am: 1st guy said hello to the 2nd guy. 1st guy then says "oh great so one guy in one guy out?" ... she is now leading him to the bedroom...

3.54am: she is now shouting very loudly "im not a slut, im a cougar!"

3.57am: 3rd shag of the night commences... Thank goodness this is my last night here!

3.59am: mid shag break to bitch about his current girlfriend who appears to be a mutual friend of housemate....

4.02am: housemate for the 5th time now has mentioned "I have a new bed!".. 1st guy is getting the hint and moving out of the kitchen towards the bed... remind me not to eat my cocopops in the kitchen tomorrow

4.26am: have rummaged through packed suitcase and found ear plugs. Thank the fridging Lord. Good night!!!!