Bungy Failure, Thrown Out of a Plane, Balls Full of Water, Crashes, Geysers and Timmehhh (South Park for Timmy)

Phew. Some stuff has happened.. more tick off the list stuff! Here it is..

• Attempted to bungy jump
• Skydived
• Watched a geyser explode
• Sat and swam in a geothermically heated pool
• Collected real pumice stone from a real volcano
• Zorbed
• Luged
• Ate a lasagne full of cheese and didn't throw up!

This is Tim!

 And all with an epic travel friend, Tim I met in Lake Tekapo. I shall attempt to describe Timaroo for you - in short he is a hero! Long story.. He makes me laugh, he eats like no other human being I know, loves a pie and an apple struddle (crumble will also suffice), looks like and is a rugby player, can surgically remove a tree and can pot plants. He also forces me to do things I otherwise would have backed out of... such as the following..

So we get to Taupo and it is time to do my 4play thing. This was a bungy jump, a jet boat ride, a helicopter and then a skydive. Things didnt QUITE go to plan... we arrived all bright and bubbly for the bungy jump and I was nervous for sure but also excited to get it off my bucket list because it had been on there since I was 14.

Timmy gets ready with the camera in a scouted out before hand location (bless him), and I shuffled my way with the heavy weight of the bungy cord to the edge of the jump.. and stood very perfectly still. Your man began to give me some words of encouragement. I remained on the ledge. He told me this was the scariest bit and that it's all over in 3 seconds, he told me the fear I was feeling is why people do it.. for the rush... I continued to remain perfectly still.

Nails in mouth.. Thinking

I raised my head VERY GENTLY so as not to catch a sudden gust of wind that could knock me off and looked panickingly for Tim. Still poised with the camera he yells across politely to "hurry the fuck up and jump". I GENTLY shake my head. Your man says "lean forward just a bit and then all you have to do is fall. Go on.. just lean forward"... I leant forward. And Mr Gobshite who apparently couldn't help but say things genuinely said "there you go! You're almost there!"

This time I made a not so gentle move. Backwards. Full fury in my eyes I stared at Gobshite and rather rudely looking back at it now said "well clearly I'm fucking not am I?!! CLEARLY there is a 150 foot drop between me and almost there!! TAKE THE ROPE OFF!"

Your man obediently obeyed. I took a step back and watched a 15 year old and then a 60 year old with a fear of heights jump off. It was then my turn again. I had calmed down but I had to ask Gobshite not to say anything. He agreed. I got to the ledge. Tim was ready... I leant forward. Slightly bent my knees. And with absolutely NO more hesistation... I straightened up and yelled "TAKE THE ROPE OFF THERES NO FUCKING WAY IM DOING FUCKING THAT!!"

I think Tim was exepecting me to be a bit disheartened with the fact I couldn't do it but believe me, I had the BIGGEST smile on my face coming off that ledge. Sure it had cost me $150 but it was a very valuable lesson. I have learnt I do not want to bungy jump. Excellent.

Getting suited up!

Next though was the skydive. Figuring if I wasn't up for a bungy then I probably wasn't up for a skydive but with actual threatening violence in his eyes, Tim pretty much forced me to do it. He wasn't my most favourite person for a minute there but I am glad he made me do it. I have made a big fuss on Facebook about how it was terrible and I wouldn't ever do it again.. but I reckon if I could go up there shit faced, I reckon I would have a really good time! Skydiving is definitely a drunk activity. I liken it to shagging an uggo... gotta be drunk to enjoy it.

The feeling going up was numb. I had no feelings at all. In the door way even.. nothing. But as soon as we started to vertically plummet.. THEN I felt something. I wasn't ever scared it was just that feeling when you go over a bump quickly in the car. Imagine that and then multiply it by almost a billion and make it last for 60 seconds. I couldn't breathe for the feeling. I was gagging on my stomach lining being hoisted into my mouth which forced the rest of my internal organs into my eyes.. hence why in the video you can only see me with my eyes closed.. I was trying to blink my organs back in!!

Just popping out to the shops...

Back on terra firma I had the biggest smile on my face. I was immensly proud of myself. I hadn't cried with adrenaline as I was so sure was going to happen. I landed on my feet and not my arse - bonus. I hadn't passed out from hyperventillating and that menacing "if you don't do it I will be really fucked off" look had gone from Tim's eyes. All was well!

Huka falls in the background with an impressively bearded companion

The helicopter was cancelled which wasn't the end of the world because I got $135 refunded and I've been in a few helicopters already. Meant money towards shipping presents home in my eyes.

The jetboating was EPIC!!!!! Safe and sound doing 360 degree turns, narrowly avoiding trees and river debris, an impressive view of huka falls and a complete soaking. My kinda fun! To finish the day we saw the V8's and then had lamb for tea. Good ending to the day I would say. Seen as I am a poet.

The next day was a day of "mooching" around the shops and visiting Lake Taupo. Did you know the lake is the same size as Singapore and is an underwater volcano?! We picked up some pummice stone from it's eruptions off the beach which was pretty darn cool. I have some coming back to England in the post.. I didn't declare it on the customs form.. hope I don't get in trouble.

The next day though was Rotorua and what a day we had!! It was SO much fun!! We went on the gondola up to a luge place. If you are unfamiliar with luge, think go karting down a mountain on varying degrees of difficulty tracks. It.. was ... AWESOME!!!

It was so awesome in fact that I decided to film the experience. This Sir's was a mistake. I wrapped the camera around my wrist and took off on the advanced track for the first time. This Sir's was another mistake. I was not advanced enough for this course nor was I competant enough in my ablity to strap on a camera to a wrist. Safe to say, the camera flew off. And it flew off hard. In panic at losing my precious just bought very expensive camera, I attempted to stop the luge car to retrieve it. I successfully stopped the car alright. I stopped it dead. Going at like 30mph. After watching my camera fly away into the bush once it smashed into the ground, I watched myself.. from an out of body perspective.. hurtle through the air. I looked down to see the car staying behind me and the ground coming up VERY quickly but in the very far away distance. I lifted my head within millimieters of the tarmac and successfully scraped my helmet across the ground, borrowing like a mole on the end of a drill into the grass. Once my helmet was sufficiently buried into the ground making a sort of ramp of dirt, a mound if you will, my head and neck stayed in that position whilst the rest of my body careered onwards, in search of further glory. It found some by smashing my entire right side of my body onto the floor and then letting me essentially aquaplane myself along to a gentle stop.

Tim and Me on the ski lift thing - I look Chinese

It had all been over in seconds by it felt like at least 30 seconds of accident. I thought I should stay put for awhile to await the pains so I could assess if anything was broken but that thought was put out of my head immediately when I realised where I had crashed.. directly below the lift carrying hundreds of people.. all who were now going "oooooooooooooooooooooooooohhh".... swiftly followed by "jesus.. HAHAHAHAHA!!" I figured I best get up and look like it was all part of the plan so jumped up, actually waved at my audience and then beeming like the plan had worked fabulously, pointed to my camera and said "just gotta go grab that!" Someone clapped, most laughed, and one nice man helped me locate my belongings before he went over the trees.. "your purse is over there, I think your sunglasses are imbedded in that mound of grass and I saw what I think was your iPhone bounce into the bush. Have fun!"...... thanks man.

Upside down and on the side I think this was

 NEXT UP! Wet zorning!! An action packed day we had was completely topped by this. We had two goes at it - first was the straight track and the second was the side winder. We got SOAKED!! and I saw A LOT of Tim I hadn't expected haha!! those shorts were short alright... ;-P

But it was such a good laugh :D If you haven't done it before, you MUST. I definitely plan to do it again it was proper ace.

Lady Knox Geyser

The next day was much more chilled out. I went to see the Lady Knox Geyser which was OK but a bit disappointing really. I don't know why but I had in my head that I would be going to a place that had naturally exploding geysers all over the place but in actual fact it was just one surrounded by benches for tourists. It looked like an ant hill that had been shat on by a thousand seagulls and it was forced to go off with soap. Slight let down but at least I have seen one now.

One of the pools

I also went to the geothermal wonderland park which was interesting but incredibly rainy. It was SO rainy that I didn't explore all of it and at one point, got lost in the rain and thought I had actually wandered off the track! I could feel it was mentally hot under my feet and I was getting big blasts of hot air in my face but I honestly couldn't see where I was. It was ok, I was safe! And I was on track but just very close to a pool that was 100 degrees C.

The colours of some of the pools were stunning - greens and blues and oranges and reds.. all natural from the heat of the volcanos. Incredible really!

This is called the artists pallet. Look at the colours on the left and in the middle by the steam cloud

And then it was time... Time for me to go to Whitanga (most boring place on the Earth so far) and for Tim to go to Auckland. I had an absolutely amazing 9 days with you sunshine and I do miss you already. I will see you in England buddy... 52 days to go!!! xx