Choosing To Be Selfish Over a Family

Good afternoon Sunday readers. How was your day? What did Sunday do for you?

I've been thinking, as is Sunday tradition. Do you realise just HOW MUCH there is to see and do in this world??? There is Africa, Canada, America, South America, Asia, Middle East, the Northern Lights, the pyramids, Europe, the Maldives.....

How will I find time to see all these things, have a career and have a family?? The only solution I can see is not have a family... And whilst I get my broody moments I think a selfish life as a backpacker is the one I want.

I don't want to be a mum at 45. But I don't want to be a mum now or the next 5 years with so much she wants to do but can't anymore. I don't want to resent my child.

It might be a very short blog.. but it was a very difficult one to write. And the same time almost a relief that I think I have made my choice. See you soon Africa...........

The Car Dilemma

Good evening - I'm having a dilemma. The car test is scarily soon and I am looking at buying my very first car the day I pass... if I pass!!! But what sort of car should I get? Here are the options...

The One Year Car

• Cheap (£500) run around that will last a year. 
• Tax £120ish
• Insurance £1200ish
• Not that big a deal if I prang it because I will just scrap it therefore keeping NCB

The Four Year Car

• Costs £2000 and will last 4 years
• Tax £35
• Insurance £1000ish
• Could be a bit of an arse if I prang it because I will have to get it fixed, so will lose NCB

Overall, if I have no accidents what so ever then the 4 year car is much cheaper in the long run. And it would be so much nicer to drive a newer car. But equally it could be very expensive insurance wise if I do prang it. 

What should I do based on your experiences???

Fastest Promotion Ever??

Hello you! Thanks for coming to have a nosey. Since the last update not toooo much has happened really. I did the Below The Line challenge for a week and it was really hard actually. If I hadn't spent £11 in order to then do per servings, I am absolutely sure I would have starved (read about it here).

I have also submitted my first assignment in human biology :D awaiting results.. fingers crossed for a merit.

I am 22 days away from taking my driving test and yes, I am absolutely fucking bricking it. Fingers crossed because I have seen a car I want up the road.

I have also had an allergic reaction to the pink in my tattoo! My whole cherry blossom area of my tattoo is on fire and so itchy. Luckily the swelling has gone down today but it's still really itchy where the rash is.

But anyway you didn't come to read that did you :D You came to find out how I was promoted in the quickest time ever didn't you!? Well it went like this....

I was invited to an open interview today for a big company to be a support worker. I figured that I probably wouldn't get it but it would be good experience to interview again and do it right this time!! I waited TWO AND A HALF HOURS!!!! to be seen.. I was getting very impatient and thinking about the bar in the other room (again it was held in a hotel) when this bloke from Nigera walked in. We spoke for a good hour on the politics, religion and economic crisis of his country. He was an absolute gent and it was such a pleasure to have met him. Our conversation was interrupted when FINALLY it was my turn to be interviewed.

Taking a seat without attempting to shake anyones hand so as to avoid potential awkwardness of last time, I was asked some general questions. All answered wellish then it came to specific care questions.. and I had to answer all of them with "errr... no.. sorry no I have no idea who CQC are and no I have never done a care plan".

Sitting back at the last question pretty content that I wouldn't get the job but that I had some good stuff to go home and research, the girls interviewing me looked each other, nodded and said "OK great thanks for that. You've got the job so if you could just fill in this form please". GOB SMACKED!!!!!!! I was mega flustered and just sort of said "oh ok, alright.. ok... what?!". I began filling in the form when the two girls left the room.

I was alone for about 40 seconds when this other woman comes in. She was Scottish and looked very professional. I paid no attention to her. Didn't even say hello because I thought she was hotel staff!! I heard her sift through some papers when she said "it's Sarah isn't it?"

Startled that she knew my name.. and to be honest slightly panicked that perhaps this was Craig's ex who had somehow found out and had tracked me down, I looked up and nervously said "yes...?" she sat down in front of me and said "we're not going to offer you the support worker role". I was disheartened and a little bit peeved seen as I was just given the job!!!! But before I could say anything she said "the girls think you are too good for the role so I am now offering you the senior support workers role. You will be responsible for care plans, risk assessment and the other support workers. Is that ok?"

50 seconds had gone past I was promoted!!! FOR NO REASON!??!!??!! I am in absolute shock!!!! I got a pay rise too haha!! I start in July after I get all my training done and my NVQs. I can't believe it!! And it a new centre too! So not walking into an established place.. new team with a new leader lol. Absolutely MENTAL!

But there you go, that's my news :D

A Job Interview

Well hey. Today has been... awkward! It started with a driving lesson at 11am. I was stood out there waiting for her to turn up. And I waited. And waited some more. I called her at 11.30am and she didn't pick up. I was in the middle of writing her a reply that basically said "Thanks for not showing up, I am going with another instructor you completely waste of air" when she sped down the road and said "sorry, I spilt some water on the seat"

So off we went finally with a wet arse. I needed to be back by 1pm because I was having my printer delivered between 1.15-2.15.. but of course we got back at 1.30 and of course the delivery was at 1.15 and I missed him. If I had been in odds are he would have delivered the shagger at 2.14.59.

I then had to get to an interview for 2.45. I had missed the buses because senile driving woman was late so had to get a taxi. That turned up late. And then forgot to take me to a cash machine. It was 2.43 when I got there and was completely flustered. I ran into the hotel where the interview was being held and completely missed the reception. Being a Rowlands I instinctively ran to the bar where out of the corner of my eye I could see two women having tea, and a man at the bar. I asked the man at the bar if interviews were being held here and he said "yes, I believe those two over there are interviewing" - so I bounded, literally, over there, my arm outstretched to handshake and said "hello! I'm Sarah!". The older of the two stood up and didn't even take my hand. She just pointed towards reception and said "we're not quite ready for you yet so if you could please take a seat over there?"... I cringe makingly removed my hand and put it by my side, pretending it never happened.

I was then beckoned over. And the first thing that came out of my mouth was "I didn't even know this place was here, how unobservant am I?!".... frigging idiot. Especially when I then had to backtrack and tell them just how observant I was. I then was asked "can you describe a stressful situation and how you handled it?" Rather than talk about a job related moment like the FSA coming in and demanding audits or something.. I scared them SHITLESS with the headless man in Cambodia story. Looking back, talking about how I came very close to death in a foreign country was probably not very appropriate to the question.

I THEN went on to tell them I would find it odd if a manager was always telling me what to do. I also called one of the interviewers "mental", and once the interview was over... I realised I had missed shaving my entire knee cap. And I hadn't shaved my legs for 2 weeks.

Pretty damn sure I won't get the job. Ho hum.

Important Update

Hola amigo! Que tal? Estoy bien, gracias. I have a rather important update for you..

I have quit my job! And I have moved house! And I have passed my theory test! And I had a chicken kiev for tea!! All very exciting news I think you will agree. I tell you what I am so happy about it all too. As per the apparent normal, I am splitting this blog into sections for you.. because I am terrible and seem to leave blogging until I have a mountain of information.

Quitting My Fuck Awful Job
I can't say too much in the public forum in case Big Brother is watching, but safe to say I feel wonderful about leaving my old job. I was lied to, to start off with, I was constantly speaking to people who were so in debt they said they would kill themselves, and I was collecting debt that I felt ethically was wrong to do so. Working for that company was hard and the decision to leave was made so much clearer when the idiot boss told me on the last day that we were "leaving on bad terms"... because I HAD to leave a day early to avoid the blizzards we have all experienced up here in the Midlands.

The relief wasn't nearly as massive as when I left Acenden but the relief was still there! Mainly though for its symbolism... I have left collections altogether. This is my time now to focus. I NEED to get back to Australia and to do that I need to get qualified and I can think of nothing else that I want to do long term than midwifery. So the foundations are being laid right now :) No more distractions.. I am off to find work in care.

The Theory Test
And to get there, and to get a job in care, and have curly hair that is soft and fair.. sorry got carried away.. I have got to pass my test and get a car. There is so much work out there for people who want to do care work but you either have to have experience in care or a car. Well I have neither but not for long!! I passed my theory test with 48/50 on the theory and 67/73 on the hazard perception. A very very respectable score I think. All that revision paid off so pat on the back for me. Although don't pat too hard, my bones are delicate.

I start proper lessons on 8th April and will be doing 2 hours a day every day. After 5 days we will asses how well I am doing and if we're happy, then I book the test. Apparently there is a quick turn around with Chesterfield so I reckon, all going well, I should have a driving license by the end of April... ARRGGHHHH!!! << this is the noise YOU should be making at the thought of me loose on the road.

Moving House
And to save some of my savings whilst I embark on my new career, I have moved in with Mumma Bear. Although I haven't really saved much money... in the first 3 days of being here I have spent £50 on decorating materials and £210 on new furniture! But I have high hopes that for the first time in my life.. and I am being serious with this statement.. I will stay put in the one place for more than 6 months because not once in my whole 27 years have I lived in the same house for more than 6 months. I am tired of moving around now. In order to make this record breaking attempt at staying put though, I will need to be in some comfort. Decorating starts tomorrow so I will of course upload on Facebook and Twitter my updates. I have gone for a red paint feature wall, and a wallpapered room with black ash furniture. Exciting!

Chicken Kiev
It was lovely. Except slightly chewy. I will make my own next time.

And until next time.. when I have news on driving lessons, decorating and my own kiev.. Good day to you!

Progression

Well hey there folks - I'm watching a film called "My Dog Skip" purely because Malcolm in the Middle boy is on it when he was all tiny and mega cutesy, and Kevin Bacon who looks so freakin' sexy it's almost unbearable! The film itself it absolutely terrible.And this was a rather long winded explanation of how I wanted you to pronounce in your heads "well hey there folks" - it's southern American based film you see... Anyway...

Things in my life have progressed! Since the last rather sweary update, I have found a setting on the oven that isn't "burn to ash in 4 minutes" and have successful produced cakes and sugar biscuits which I have sold for a rather impressive £18.00 of donations in one week. Go Cake Fighting Cancer!!! (even if it does mean bringing on potential heart failure.. there is an awful amount of butter in my cakes :-/... win some lose some?)

In addition to perfectly cooked cakes, I ladies and gentlemen have only bloody well gone and started learning to drive again! *people reading dive behind sofas and protectively cover the heads of their children* I had my first free assessment lesson today and quite frankly with no exaggeration, I full on crapped myself (I was on the loo thankfully) but it turned out ok! I haven't driven a car for 7 years and I reckon I did alright. MOST DEFINITELY rusty and will need some work but that's what driving lessons are for right! I have figured out that I don't listen when I'm concentrating and I struggle really badly with knowing which is left and right any because of the dyslexia, so couple those things together and you have me slowing down at a roundabout in the wrong lane with the indicator going the right direction but the instructor going "left leeffftttt!" as I'm cruising right and then panicking and driving over the roundabout itself. It happened twice lol.. woops..

But it's something I have to get right and get done if I want to be a midwife. Which brings me onto progression part two... some universities want to see recent study. Well recent study they shall have! I am taking an A Level in Biology online! https://www.stonebridge.uk.com/course/biology-a-level for £385. Yes it's expensive but it gets what I need and makes me really knuckle down. I haven't purchased it yet because I want to explore a couple more options see if I can actually get it cheaper but so far, that's looking like my best bet.

In other news, Qatar Airways should hopefully finally be paying me my £280 back which was the refund for a flight I cancelled in SEPTEMBER!! After getting the CAA involved, they finally replied and have finally accepted that they owe me the money. I have however asked for £500 as compensation for their complete and utter frigging awfulness. So if I get the full refund back then that pays for the course and some driving lessons - yay!

Speaking of money, Kev is paying me back too!!! All £1725 :D :D yaaay!! I have also moved teams in work which means I am more likely to achieve a bonus each month which will be very handy - a couple of extra hundred for the next 3 months will pay for the driving course itself if I do intensive so mega fingers crossed. for that.

What else... nearly reach my target for sponsorship so if you would like to help then please spare a copper or £20 to http://www.justgiving.com/bearclimbshills - every £20 is an hours worth of nursing :) you can also text me if you want; Text BEAR91 £ << and then your donation amount to 70070..and by spare a copper.. if you want to take that literally and send me a uniformed police man, please feel free! Make sure he brings his baton and handcuffs...

And I think that's it! It's all go, I'm feeling quite motivated and I will now embark on making some lemon and chocolate cup cakes :D See you all when I have more news.

Total and Absolute Baking Disaster

** WARNING. FAIR AMOUNT OF SWEARING IN THIS POST**

The Poster... In no way accurately priced

Ey up. Well I have something to tell you kids. I am NOT the cooking/baking genius I think I am. Today has been an absolute complete mega fuck up and I am both shattered and in a raging strop, which combined has made this weird floppsy sulky mess of a woman who has flour in her hair, butter under her fingernails and mysteriously.. which we will get onto in a moment.. a giant patch of syrup on my left hand side.

The story starts with I am baking cakes to sell at work in order to raise funds for charity (hint: http://www.justgiving.com/bearclimbshills). I have put it off all January because I knew people were skint and it also gave me time to make some cool posters and order a banner to advertise my bake sale. Well posters arrived and they look OK - see opposite. Banner also arrived but was too big to post through the door so they took it away where it currently awaits pick up at the post office. Fuckiing JOOOYYYYY.. like I can be arsed to walk all the way to the twatting post office. Rage.

But I figured regardless of banner, I will make some cakes and bring them in. Well I made something. Cake??? Not so much.

In Dave Kitchen's words "have a group of men cum on your cakes??"

I used the normal method of making fairy cakes - equal amounts of ingredients and spread the contents equally into my Christmas Present silicone case. All was well so far. As they cooked I attempted to make some icing. Blue icing I thought to go with the Marie Curie theme. It took a good 15 minutes to attempt. And I failed. Dramatically. So as not to get angry I thought of my little cakes cooking away and remembered they only take 10 minutes to cook. I opened the oven door sure they were going to have been burnt only to see half risen cakes. Ball sacks I thought.. the stupid cunting oven with no temperature numbers around the dial must only be at like 80 degrees C. Turn it up my head said. Good plan my brain replied.

Back at the icing I came to the conclusion that no matter how much blue I put into this, and how much icing sugar I then put back into the mix to make it thicker, the result was always going to be the same. Perfect blue colour but extremely runny, or grey and slightly thicker. That took another 7 minutes to ponder by that time I realised the cakes should be perfect. Opening the oven - cloud of black bastard fucksticking smoke. Oh hurray.

You would be forgiven for assuming this was made my a mentally handicapped bind child

Not the end of the world... I cut the blackened bits off and figured I would coat it in my grey icing. Did that. But the shagging icing was to frigging runny. So now I just had a mess. Don't panic I said.. you have sprinkles. THAT DIDN'T STICK BECAUSE THE ARSE BENDING ICING HAD FALLEN OFF THE BURNT CAKES!!! Which were SO small I had absolutely NO hope of selling it for 40p. It isn't even worth 10p. And not only that... I had noticed a strange.. feet smell. I sniffed my cakes and was quite sure - yep. My cakes smelt like feet. I look at my now empty pathetic blue coluring and realised I had opened that colour back in 2010 and had successfully NOT kept it refrigerated.

IN ADDITION.... I ordered some cooking chocolate from Asda but because they had run out, they figured 3 bars of dairy milk would be a good swap. NO Asda you mega fucking tards - normal chocolate does not melt!!!! It's aright my head said. Melt it with some butter and syrup and all be well. NOT IT ISN'T YOU AXWOUND!!! I have ended up with the greasiest, thickest THREE chocolate cornflake cakes you will ever have in your life, and it was supposed to have made 12.

I concluded there was no way in hell I could take these "cakes" to work and sell because someone would definitely die if not vomit so began tidying up. Starting with the blender. Which has a sharp blade if you didn't know. A blade sharp enough that if held between thumb and index finger will literally rip through the webbing of your skin. Which you won't notice whilst it is held under ice cold water. You will however notice it when your hand becomes unnumb and you realise there is a trail of red on the white floor where you just were. Much more scrubbing that anticipated with now disabled hand. Further rage.

But the most rage came from finally cleaning up and taking off the apron. Only for a GIANT BLOB of syrup to fall onto my side... FROM NOWHERE... UNANNOUCED!!!! I am now covered in blood.. tired... a little bit sick from trying a death cake... and REALLY FUCKING STICKY!!!!!

 To sum up everyone. Fuck your cakes. Fuck fundraising. And then refuck your cakes. I'm going to bed.